Apparently, another guy happens to feel like i do, except mine is a bit different than his experience.
He experienced energies, whereas i feel energy waves going in fast and heat seeping slowly.
http://www.wholenessblog.com/practice/guided-imagery-hypnosis/tingling-goosebumps-life-energy#more-51
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Cold.
I'm letting out everything i could in this blog. All the poetry came out from my mind, it may not be good, but it does makes me feel a lot better. I couldn't sleep for all i care, so i decided to write something.
Cold runs though my nose
Blood runs through it
Bleeding like a hose
Who cares doesn't it?
When we were friends
We laughed
We joked
The world is ours
I laughed at your teeth
That awfully crooked teeth
It was beauty without doubt
With that change in your smile
I saw the change in you
Was that hatred i might imply
With that grin of a smile
Without a doubt it is sly
From it my pride died
From it i tried,
To be comforting and try
To be a friend in time
For now my heart died.
From a cold that seeps in mine.
Cold runs though my nose
Blood runs through it
Bleeding like a hose
Who cares doesn't it?
When we were friends
We laughed
We joked
The world is ours
I laughed at your teeth
That awfully crooked teeth
It was beauty without doubt
With that change in your smile
I saw the change in you
Was that hatred i might imply
With that grin of a smile
Without a doubt it is sly
From it my pride died
From it i tried,
To be comforting and try
To be a friend in time
For now my heart died.
From a cold that seeps in mine.
Stranded.
Looking in between the stars
The emptiness in me
Consumes me literally
Where's the laughter?
In an alley?
Alone, darkness consumes me
Why was I being restrained
From ever talking to you
From ever talking to you
From ever talking to you
Have i misbehaved?
Silence is golden, yeah
But silence
Is pain in the heart
Screaming in vain
When my intentions were good
It always got people wrong
I try to listen
I try to understand
Why doesn't it make any sense?
Verily, This was wrong
We should have been friends
But for how long?
For the world sees it undesirable
Having no mercy
To end, to cut my heart
To bleed... in two
One for me
One for you.
The emptiness in me
Consumes me literally
Where's the laughter?
In an alley?
Alone, darkness consumes me
Why was I being restrained
From ever talking to you
From ever talking to you
From ever talking to you
Have i misbehaved?
Silence is golden, yeah
But silence
Is pain in the heart
Screaming in vain
When my intentions were good
It always got people wrong
I try to listen
I try to understand
Why doesn't it make any sense?
Verily, This was wrong
We should have been friends
But for how long?
For the world sees it undesirable
Having no mercy
To end, to cut my heart
To bleed... in two
One for me
One for you.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Supernatural.
I've done almost everything to do my research on what is happening to me. I've read about chakras, traditional chinese medicine, the art of meditation, yoga, but i haven't got real answer.
As you can see, the only thing i can understand is through Taichi, as when i feel the energies absorbed to me, i would redirect it to my arms and to my fingers, and i can feel it going through it, without touching when i do a Hugging Tree method.
However, when this happens i would have goosebumps. I had been having goosebumps whenever i felt this as far as i can remember. When people recite, prayers, good deeds.
My friend told me when you've realised your mistake, that feeling may be forgiveness from the Lord. But i beg to differ. Some said it's the devil. It's pretty confusing.
Whenever i read books about religion, or specific philosophies, my right wrist with my hairs on it will start to rise, without goosebumps. Somehow trying to guide me to something which i do not understand, this is not a hallucination where you feel your hair stand, i could see it.
One thing for sure, i am conscious whenever i hear a whisper from the devil, though this does not come all the time, i am mentally sick as the doctors would say, however, i know these whispers very well, as largely the patterns associate by it is so similar. I guess by opening up my heart, i could better understand these whispers.
When i do my prayers, it would seem that i could feel these energies, going from feet to head, from head to feet, with goosebumps, all over. My face feels warm. It's hard to describe it.
During my jahil period, being kufur, i can feel heat slowly absorbing me, whenever it does, it whispers.... and thus i would succumb to bad deeds, Wallahu'alam.
For the past 27 years of my life, i had been in and out of the hospital, couldn't complete my studies because i was being in a state of unhappiness, which begins with my surroundings that had an adverse affect on myself. I was obsessed with knowledge that i forgot that my knowledge was little as compared to the Master of Universe and that my quest for knowledge was so much fueled by hatred for people who knows so much but with little to give and thinks that their knowledge is far better than anyone elses, thus blinded me to the delusional, however, this is why he never destined me to complete my studies. However, Insha'allah, i will, by his grace and if he wills it so.
For what i understand is i'm connected to a dimension which is unseeable (again, Wallahu'alam), but i am not a soothsayer or a magician who practises magic, it had been natural since birth. I thought everyone feels it, however, when i began to know nobody else feels that, i began to feel curious, scared, thus i turn to him for answers, everyday, everynight for answers, or lead me to it.
My heart reveals that one day i might have to go to Khurasaan. For what, only Allah and me knows, because it's a secret that should not be unveiled until it is time.
As you can see, the only thing i can understand is through Taichi, as when i feel the energies absorbed to me, i would redirect it to my arms and to my fingers, and i can feel it going through it, without touching when i do a Hugging Tree method.
However, when this happens i would have goosebumps. I had been having goosebumps whenever i felt this as far as i can remember. When people recite, prayers, good deeds.
My friend told me when you've realised your mistake, that feeling may be forgiveness from the Lord. But i beg to differ. Some said it's the devil. It's pretty confusing.
Whenever i read books about religion, or specific philosophies, my right wrist with my hairs on it will start to rise, without goosebumps. Somehow trying to guide me to something which i do not understand, this is not a hallucination where you feel your hair stand, i could see it.
One thing for sure, i am conscious whenever i hear a whisper from the devil, though this does not come all the time, i am mentally sick as the doctors would say, however, i know these whispers very well, as largely the patterns associate by it is so similar. I guess by opening up my heart, i could better understand these whispers.
When i do my prayers, it would seem that i could feel these energies, going from feet to head, from head to feet, with goosebumps, all over. My face feels warm. It's hard to describe it.
During my jahil period, being kufur, i can feel heat slowly absorbing me, whenever it does, it whispers.... and thus i would succumb to bad deeds, Wallahu'alam.
For the past 27 years of my life, i had been in and out of the hospital, couldn't complete my studies because i was being in a state of unhappiness, which begins with my surroundings that had an adverse affect on myself. I was obsessed with knowledge that i forgot that my knowledge was little as compared to the Master of Universe and that my quest for knowledge was so much fueled by hatred for people who knows so much but with little to give and thinks that their knowledge is far better than anyone elses, thus blinded me to the delusional, however, this is why he never destined me to complete my studies. However, Insha'allah, i will, by his grace and if he wills it so.
For what i understand is i'm connected to a dimension which is unseeable (again, Wallahu'alam), but i am not a soothsayer or a magician who practises magic, it had been natural since birth. I thought everyone feels it, however, when i began to know nobody else feels that, i began to feel curious, scared, thus i turn to him for answers, everyday, everynight for answers, or lead me to it.
My heart reveals that one day i might have to go to Khurasaan. For what, only Allah and me knows, because it's a secret that should not be unveiled until it is time.
Dreams.
Yesterday, I had a dream of my ex girlfriend. She was showing me where her sister's bedroom, then i saw there's this pool right beside her house (I may be wrong because there were many dreams in that night). I saw her mum sitting on a chair looking at us, and that chair was next to a wall, she sat pretty still and watched us, i wonder why.
But i saw that smile, that time when i saw her she wasn't really older, she was wearing a black hijab and very happy, we talked for there's some party going on that with all the balloons and all, i kept wondering why was this dream a sign, because i've asked my Lord to erase everything about her in due time, but i asked him if i were to be destined then always make me remember her because of him, because i do not want to feel hurt.
I was a real pain in the ass, because i talk about the Lord. It annoys her much. I never intend to talk about him but i was worried that she might be swayed by the world that she forgets about the Lord. Thus, the only way to get rid of this worry is to provide supplicant (du'a) for her.
For one, dreams can be made by the devil or the Lord. However, i've recited all i need before i go to sleep, being in a clean state before i rest.
Perhaps the Lord is giving me some hope because he knows it better than i do. Wallahu'alam.
I know who i am. But i'm rather confused to not let it get into me, being egoistic and boastful. Within each word i read with Bismillah, i do not let the devil whisper to me that i'm the best, for Allah is the knowledgable.
But i saw that smile, that time when i saw her she wasn't really older, she was wearing a black hijab and very happy, we talked for there's some party going on that with all the balloons and all, i kept wondering why was this dream a sign, because i've asked my Lord to erase everything about her in due time, but i asked him if i were to be destined then always make me remember her because of him, because i do not want to feel hurt.
I was a real pain in the ass, because i talk about the Lord. It annoys her much. I never intend to talk about him but i was worried that she might be swayed by the world that she forgets about the Lord. Thus, the only way to get rid of this worry is to provide supplicant (du'a) for her.
For one, dreams can be made by the devil or the Lord. However, i've recited all i need before i go to sleep, being in a clean state before i rest.
Perhaps the Lord is giving me some hope because he knows it better than i do. Wallahu'alam.
I know who i am. But i'm rather confused to not let it get into me, being egoistic and boastful. Within each word i read with Bismillah, i do not let the devil whisper to me that i'm the best, for Allah is the knowledgable.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Moooved!
Old blog. http://eagleblog.unrealasia.net/
Hope it's permanent. It's on some server that's hosted somewhere and not home.
Hope it's permanent. It's on some server that's hosted somewhere and not home.
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