Supernatural.

I've done almost everything to do my research on what is happening to me. I've read about chakras, traditional chinese medicine, the art of meditation, yoga, but i haven't got real answer.

As you can see, the only thing i can understand is through Taichi, as when i feel the energies absorbed to me, i would redirect it to my arms and to my fingers, and i can feel it going through it, without touching when i do a Hugging Tree method.

However, when this happens i would have goosebumps. I had been having goosebumps whenever i felt this as far as i can remember. When people recite, prayers, good deeds.

My friend told me when you've realised your mistake, that feeling may be forgiveness from the Lord. But i beg to differ. Some said it's the devil. It's pretty confusing.

Whenever i read books about religion, or specific philosophies, my right wrist with my hairs on it will start to rise, without goosebumps. Somehow trying to guide me to something which i do not understand, this is not a hallucination where you feel your hair stand, i could see it.

One thing for sure, i am conscious whenever i hear a whisper from the devil, though this does not come all the time, i am mentally sick as the doctors would say, however, i know these whispers very well, as largely the patterns associate by it is so similar. I guess by opening up my heart, i could better understand these whispers.

When i do my prayers, it would seem that i could feel these energies, going from feet to head, from head to feet, with goosebumps, all over. My face feels warm. It's hard to describe it.

During my jahil period, being kufur, i can feel heat slowly absorbing me, whenever it does, it whispers.... and thus i would succumb to bad deeds, Wallahu'alam.

For the past 27 years of my life, i had been in and out of the hospital, couldn't complete my studies because i was being in a state of unhappiness, which begins with my surroundings that had an adverse affect on myself. I was obsessed with knowledge that i forgot that my knowledge was little as compared to the Master of Universe and that my quest for knowledge was so much fueled by hatred for people who knows so much but with little to give and thinks that their knowledge is far better than anyone elses, thus blinded me to the delusional, however, this is why he never destined me to complete my studies. However, Insha'allah, i will, by his grace and if he wills it so.

For what i understand is i'm connected to a dimension which is unseeable (again, Wallahu'alam), but i am not a soothsayer or a magician who practises magic, it had been natural since birth. I thought everyone feels it, however, when i began to know nobody else feels that, i began to feel curious, scared, thus i turn to him for answers, everyday, everynight for answers, or lead me to it.

My heart reveals that one day i might have to go to Khurasaan. For what, only Allah and me knows, because it's a secret that should not be unveiled until it is time.